Having a baby and being a mom is one of the biggest blessings, but hardest thing I have ever done. Maybe because it’s the most important thing I have ever done and am doing. Quite frankly, most days I don’t feel equipped to be a mom. I have freak out moments, anxiety, impatience, and what ifs plague my mind from time to time. One thing I have learned and am still learning is not relying on my own strength, but on Christ’s. I am astonished that I get to be a mom to these two beautiful boys. I am thankful that my Jesus sees way more in me than I see in myself.
It’s about time I share some images from Lincoln’s newborn and 2 month session. The first few images were done by my wonderful friend corrie owens photography, and last few are done by me during Lincoln’s first days of life. I need to do his 3 month pictures next…I can’t believe he’s already 3 months. He is so content, would rather be sleeping and cuddling than anything else, has a set of dimples that will melt you, and the bluest eyes (I am hoping they stay blue).
Early in the morning of June 28, my water broke. It was about 3:45am. My poor hubby had just gotten into bed from working all night. We called my mom who had to come up from Matthews to stay with jax. We got going about 5:00 am, had to drive to Presbyterian hospital in Matthews. My contractions started on the way to the hospital, and were pretty full blown when we got there. We got situated in a room about 6 am. I had the best veteran nurse who helped me breathe and ease my fears. The obgyn on call came to check me for dilation, which he said I was only about 2-4 cm, and told me my epidural was on the way and should be there in about 20 minutes. I don’t know what he did, but my 2-4 went to like 10 in no time. As soon as they all left the room, I had a huge contraction, then felt the craziest pressure I have ever felt in my life. I screamed help, help, help! They all come rushing in, checked me, and told me I was going to have to push. I screamed no, no, no! At that point, I knew baby was coming, and I was not getting any medication. I shooed my husband away, and three nurses surrounded me as the obgyn and his pa student were at my feet. One of the nurses got me to focus on her eyes, and the others coached me in the pushing. I was making sounds I had never heard myself make before! My husband thought I was dying! It wasn’t like it was so painful, as it was intense. There is no other way to describe it, but it’s like an outer body experience. Lincoln James came at 9:20 weighing in at 7 lbs, 2oz at 3 weeks early.
The first few weeks were tough for me as I transitioned into this life change. I am feeling more like myself, and getting into a routine again. I am so very blessed my mom, Tracy, my mother in law, and so many friends helped me in the beginning.
For a while I didn’t even have the desire to shoot, or even get dressed. I was in a funk I don’t know how to describe. But, I am ready to shoot again, not a full load, but my desire is coming back. I don’t like getting dressed in my regular clothes yet, but am getting there too! I look forward in sharing some other things via personal and business. xo!